The Flip Side Of Love

☺Love is patient. Love is kind. Unfortunately, our loved ones may not always be. In fact, they can be quite impatient, unkind, and just flat out mean. But that’s life. And unless you want to have a string of failed relationships behind you it’s imperative that you devise some realistic methods for overcoming–or surviving– these challenging times.

  1. It’s not always about you.–Remember that before you all became a pair, you were individuals. News Flash!!! You still are, even if you’re married. Therefore, don’t be so quick to jump on the defense if you’re partner snaps at you or is otherwise unkind. They could be mad at something that has nothing to do with you.
  2. Create a healthy distance. Once you determine that you have not wronged your partner, now it’s time to give them a little bit of space. Unless you like being around someone in a bad mood, this is not a time to hover. If you stay you’re likely to make matters worse because you may be tempted to try to fix it. And you can’t. Be on the safe side and get a little “me” time in.
  3. Empathize–This is a good time to put on your empathy hat. It’s only natural to hurt when your partner is hurt or not feeling their best. You wouldn’t be human if whatever they’re going through didn’t affect you in the least. Express this fact to your partner. It could go a long way in making them feel better.
  4. If all else fails don’t hesitate to put on your boxing gloves. Not in the literal sense, but this is also a time to tell your partner, unequivocally, that while you feel bad that they’re in a bad mood, for whatever the reason, that you will not allow them to mistreat you. In a grown-up world, we have to learn how to handle our bad days without taking out our feelings on those closest to us. And when you speak up for yourself in your relationship, the result is growth. Just remember—it’s not what you say but how you say it.

Leave a Reply